What’s Your Best Feature?
“What is your best feature?”
Pretty simple question, right? Some of you will snap right up with an answer.
“I’ve been told I have pretty eyes.”
“My husband loves my hair.”
“My boyfriend is crazy for my butt.”
Okay. It’s good to hear what you’ve been told, or what your boyfriend or your husband thinks. I want to know what YOU think. So let me slightly rephrase and I’ll ask again:
“What do you think is your best feature?”
Would you come up with the same answers? I’m betting not. Do you think you have pretty eyes? Are you crazy about your hair? And I’d bet about 99.99% of you out there would strongly disagree with the butt sentiment, right?
But go back and read my question: “What do you think is your best feature?”
I never said it had to be a physical feature.
*blank stare from the audience*
Okay, now that I’ve either confused or irritated you, let me elaborate. I think from the time we’re small children, it’s been drilled into our heads by television commercials, celebrity photographs and movies that beauty is a physical thing. And when we’re asked about our best features, our mind automatically leaps to the physical self. And if you’re anything like me, you’re probably your own worst critic in that arena. I KNOW I am. I stare at myself in the mirror and I don’t like what stares back at me. It’s certainly not the ideal I’ve built up in my head of what beauty should look like.
But why? I’m a good person. I am loving, caring, giving. I laugh a lot, I have a great sense of humor. I’m smart, I love to read, I love to learn. I enjoy all the beautiful things in the world and appreciate them for what they are. I love music. I love nature. Why can’t I learn to love me, too? I am so fortunate to be surrounded by people in my life that love me for me. Not what I look like, but for who I am. But when it comes down to it, when that reflection is staring back at me, I don’t see the loving, caring, giving person others see. I don’t see the intelligence. I see a reflection of something that falls short of what my desired ideal is for physical beauty. Where’s that ideal come from? Is it even attainable, I wonder?
Sometimes I wonder if that’s where most of us fall short in reaching our physical goals. I wonder if we could somehow find our way to being happy with who we are right at that very moment, that we’d feel good enough to continue down the path of being a better person. I think that if I could learn to be happy with the person I am right at this very moment, ALL THE TIME, that I could find the desire to go out there, stand tall and proud, and venture further down the path towards being an even better person. We all know what it’s like to get out of bed and face our day when we feel like absolute and total crap. It’s not easy or fun. And many times, we may start off on a self-improvement plan totally gun-ho and ready to go, only to fall face first a few days later. We may be surrounded by people who tell us how wonderful, how beautiful, how smart and how great we are on a daily basis, but until we start seeing it for ourselves, with our own eyes, in our own heart, and truly believe it, there doesn’t seem to be a truth to it, even though they believe it to be totally true. If YOU don’t believe it’s true, it’s not.
So what’s my convoluted point, already? I just think that personally, as I wander down this path of self-improvement trying to be the best I can be, I can’t be the best I can physically until I believe the other stuff is more important. That might sound so idiotic, too. Of course it’s more important who you are on the inside than it is on the outside, you’re thinking. My logical self knows that to be true. But when people who don’t know you are sizing you up and down based on your physical appearance and are deciding whether or not they want to get to know you based solely on that without taking the time to get to know the true you, how can you help but not place a heavy importance on that? Sure, it’s easy to say “I don’t care what anyone else thinks,” but the truth is, we do. We all want to be liked. True, we want to be liked for the right reasons. But how can we expect others to like us for the right reasons when they aren’t even the primary reasons for ourselves?
Long story short, my mission is this: learning to like myself for who I know myself to be, so that when people do come across me, that inner self can’t help but shine through to my outer self. Hopefully, once that truly happens in my heart of hearts, the rest of this self-improvement effort will become less of an effort and more of a habit. Make sense?
So, all that said, let’s ask the question again:
What do YOU THINK is your best feature?
No, let’s rephrase it even more:
What do YOU KNOW is your best feature(s)? Leave me a comment and let me know. I’d love to hear them all!
Mine? I KNOW I have a great sense of humor, and I’m generous, intelligent, patient, and devoted.
And I know I have great eyes, a bright smile, and good hair.
(We’re workin’ on the butt part. LOL)
Thank you to my husband for always making me feel beautiful, no matter what. I love you for that and so much more. Always and forever.
BTW: Check out The Beautiful Woman Project at http://bwp.websterwood.com/
