My So-Called “Diet” - Ramblings and Musings of a Wife, Mom, and Chocoholic

I wish that I could figure out why I manage to sabotage my weight loss efforts.  I was doing pretty well, getting into a low-carb groove, and them whammo! The cravings for all of the crap come back with a frantic vengance.  It’s a hard feeling to fight.   Anyway, I’m working to get back on track.  Through it all, however, I have managed to shed 9 lbs. somehow.  More of that lose/gain/lose/gain yo-yo stuff, but at least I’m on the downswing of it.  Thing is, life’s thrown me a curveball or two lately, and I just haven’t coped with them as well as I’d like to say I have.  But I can’t keep using the excuse that someone’s sick/someone died/someone’s cat was run over by a car/it’s Tuesday/it’s raining - whatever it may be.  That’s how life works.  I have to find the strength to be able to motor my way through these stumbling blocks and keep myself on the path I’ve plotted out for myself.  

Hope you’re all well.  Take good care, I’ll blog again soon. 

“What is your best feature?”

Pretty simple question, right? Some of you will snap right up with an answer.

“I’ve been told I have pretty eyes.”

“My husband loves my hair.”

“My boyfriend is crazy for my butt.”

Okay. It’s good to hear what you’ve been told, or what your boyfriend or your husband thinks. I want to know what YOU think. So let me slightly rephrase and I’ll ask again:

“What do you think is your best feature?”

Would you come up with the same answers? I’m betting not. Do you think you have pretty eyes? Are you crazy about your hair? And I’d bet about 99.99% of you out there would strongly disagree with the butt sentiment, right?

But go back and read my question: “What do you think is your best feature?”

I never said it had to be a physical feature.

*blank stare from the audience*

Okay, now that I’ve either confused or irritated you, let me elaborate. I think from the time we’re small children, it’s been drilled into our heads by television commercials, celebrity photographs and movies that beauty is a physical thing. And when we’re asked about our best features, our mind automatically leaps to the physical self. And if you’re anything like me, you’re probably your own worst critic in that arena. I KNOW I am. I stare at myself in the mirror and I don’t like what stares back at me. It’s certainly not the ideal I’ve built up in my head of what beauty should look like.

But why? I’m a good person. I am loving, caring, giving. I laugh a lot, I have a great sense of humor. I’m smart, I love to read, I love to learn. I enjoy all the beautiful things in the world and appreciate them for what they are. I love music. I love nature. Why can’t I learn to love me, too? I am so fortunate to be surrounded by people in my life that love me for me. Not what I look like, but for who I am. But when it comes down to it, when that reflection is staring back at me, I don’t see the loving, caring, giving person others see. I don’t see the intelligence. I see a reflection of something that falls short of what my desired ideal is for physical beauty. Where’s that ideal come from? Is it even attainable, I wonder?

Sometimes I wonder if that’s where most of us fall short in reaching our physical goals. I wonder if we could somehow find our way to being happy with who we are right at that very moment, that we’d feel good enough to continue down the path of being a better person. I think that if I could learn to be happy with the person I am right at this very moment, ALL THE TIME, that I could find the desire to go out there, stand tall and proud, and venture further down the path towards being an even better person. We all know what it’s like to get out of bed and face our day when we feel like absolute and total crap. It’s not easy or fun. And many times, we may start off on a self-improvement plan totally gun-ho and ready to go, only to fall face first a few days later. We may be surrounded by people who tell us how wonderful, how beautiful, how smart and how great we are on a daily basis, but until we start seeing it for ourselves, with our own eyes, in our own heart, and truly believe it, there doesn’t seem to be a truth to it, even though they believe it to be totally true. If YOU don’t believe it’s true, it’s not.

So what’s my convoluted point, already? I just think that personally, as I wander down this path of self-improvement trying to be the best I can be, I can’t be the best I can physically until I believe the other stuff is more important. That might sound so idiotic, too. Of course it’s more important who you are on the inside than it is on the outside, you’re thinking. My logical self knows that to be true. But when people who don’t know you are sizing you up and down based on your physical appearance and are deciding whether or not they want to get to know you based solely on that without taking the time to get to know the true you, how can you help but not place a heavy importance on that? Sure, it’s easy to say “I don’t care what anyone else thinks,” but the truth is, we do. We all want to be liked. True, we want to be liked for the right reasons. But how can we expect others to like us for the right reasons when they aren’t even the primary reasons for ourselves?

Long story short, my mission is this: learning to like myself for who I know myself to be, so that when people do come across me, that inner self can’t help but shine through to my outer self. Hopefully, once that truly happens in my heart of hearts, the rest of this self-improvement effort will become less of an effort and more of a habit. Make sense?

So, all that said, let’s ask the question again:

What do YOU THINK is your best feature?

No, let’s rephrase it even more:

What do YOU KNOW is your best feature(s)? Leave me a comment and let me know. I’d love to hear them all!

Mine? I KNOW I have a great sense of humor, and I’m generous, intelligent, patient, and devoted.

And I know I have great eyes, a bright smile, and good hair.

(We’re workin’ on the butt part. LOL)

Thank you to my husband for always making me feel beautiful, no matter what. I love you for that and so much more. Always and forever.

BTW: Check out The Beautiful Woman Project at http://bwp.websterwood.com/

The other day I posted about a magazine that’s out there for plus size gals called Figure Magazine.  I received a comment from a man named Glen.  He has a blog called Full Figure Plus.  He, you say? Yep! As he explains in his introduction, he’s both the husband of a full-figured woman and grew up in a full-figured household.  He has lived and does live life in a plus sized world! His blog was born from his wife’s frustrations about finding good looking, well-fitting plus sized fashions and lingerie, a sentiment I’m sure any BBW out there can echo.  His blog contains a plethora of links, articles, and blog entries regarding plus sized fashion, health and fitness, beauty tips, size acceptance and size discrimination, plus much more. This is one site you’ll want to make sure you bookmark! Thanks for stopping by my blog, Glen - glad to have found your blog as a result, too!

A recent article I read on Yahoo! News reiterated the importance of portion control not only in the effort to lose weight, but to control blood sugar as well.  You can link to the full story here: http://tinyurl.com/2y4f7t. It makes perfect sense, when you think about it.  I know I’m not particularly good at eyeballing a portion size; what my eye thinks is one portion vs. what other eyes think is a portion are totally different.  And obviously, I’ve got an issue with portion control or I wouldn’t be in the boat I’m in with weighing too much!  The other day, I stumbled upon the most amazing weight loss success story, a man by the name of David Smith.  You’ll see a link to his story over here on the right side of the blog.  The trainer he worked so hard with, named Chris Powell, came up with an ingenious system called the Stax System.  It’s all based on this important rule of proper portion control.  (There’s a link over on the side for his website as well.)  I’m thinking I might invest in one of these, as not only is it portion control, but looks like a very convenient way to plan your day’s menu regardless if you’re leaving the house for the day or will be at home.  I strongly encourage you to check out David’s site and the Stax System site and see what you think.  (Thanks to tinyurl.com for making long URL’s so much easier!)

You know, this whole weight loss journey has been a long, hard fought road.  Admittedly, sometimes one I try to navigate without a map I can read.  I’ve been on so many different plans in my life, some of them several times.  Most didn’t work, some did.  I’ve tried some that are so far off the mark that it’s like trying to read a map of a big city that’s printed in a language you don’t understand.  It’s frustrating, and you barely know which was is up, let alone succeed at getting to your destination in any decent amount of time or without killing an entire tank of gas in the process.  Coming back to a weight-loss plan that works well for you and you’re comfortable using is like finding an old map that’s dog-eared, has markings and notes on it, it’s been torn and taped up and folded in the wrong places, but it’s the one you go back to time and again because you know it.  It’s comfortable.  And it gets you where you need to go.  You’re still in the same city (fat) but this map doesn’t have you driving around in circles, lost.  This map shows you “Hey, remember we’ve been here before? We’ve done this, and we went this way and we got there, safe, sound, and with plenty of gas left in the tank.”  I think that’s what finding our perfect weight-loss plan is all about.  And sometimes, it’s not just one plan.  Sometimes it’s elements of two or three plans that have worked well for us, so we combine them and make our own customized program.  A little of this, a little of that, and viola! SUCCESS! Sort of like a family recipe that you build on over time, customizing it to suit your family’s tastes, portions, likes and dislikes.  But once you get the final product, your family devours it and there’s never any leftovers! So here goes…I’m back to the basics that I know, that work for me, with a little bit of some new thinking tossed in for spice and variety! Here’s to being a big loser!

I stumbled upon this yesterday and thought I’d share.  Like many of you BBW/plus-sized gals, I’m a former Mode and BBW Magazine subscriber, and have been keeping an eye on the magazine racks at the grocery and book stores in hopes that another one might come along soon.  Enter Figure Magazine.  Not only does it touch on beauty and fashion, but also includes articles on relationships, body, mind & spirit, food & entertaining, and has a community section to allow readers to meet fellow Figure readers.  I don’t know about you, but somewhere in this whole struggle with being happy with myself, I forgot how to feel pretty.  I rarely do my makeup anymore, and hairstyle? Yeah, right.  I have no hairstyle. I’ve never been able to relate to the models in the ‘mainstream’ fashion magazines like Vogue, Glamour, and Cosmopolitan.  Not because they aren’t beautiful; they are.  They’re just not plus-sized.  Seeing plus-sized women look, feel, and act beautiful, confident, sexy, and happy is just the dose of medicine this ’sleeping’ beauty needs!

Well, so much for posting every day, eh?  I’m working my way through starting a low-carb plan, and it’s been really rough on me these last couple of weeks.  I never thought in my wildest dreams I’d miss carbs as much as I do, but I do! I keep telling myself I’m not depriving myself of something and that I’ve actually STOPPED depriving myself of good health by cutting out the bad carbs.  As a type 2 diabetic, this is something I should have been doing all along, and I have tried, but haven’t succeeded to the degree that I would have hoped.  Anyway, long story short, I’ve lost 9 lbs since I started this one in earnest.  I’m working hard to keep up the momentum and stay on track.  My next mission is to try and design a workable exercise plan that will help me ease into the exercise routine safely and smartly.  Peace out for now!

Hello, and welcome to my ‘diet’ blog.  Yes, I know, I just said the dreaded “D” word.  Truth of the matter is, we’re all ‘on a diet.’ We all eat.  What we eat every day is our ‘diet.’ Some of us are better at it than others, however! So in the interest of being very pro-lifestyle change, I’m not going to call myself ‘anti-diet.’  Because though my goal is and has been for a long time to figure a way to improve my current lifestyle and change my daily diet, I realize they go hand-in-hand.  If I change my diet, my lifestyle will change accordingly.  But just changing what I eat, the amounts, and the way I eat isn’t a lifestyle changed. We all know we must find a way to incorporate fitness (physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual) into a successful lifestyle change as well.  This blog will be a tool that I hope helps me (and possibly inspire others) to do just that. My blog won’t be an endorsement of any particular program, product or success story, but I hope it’ll become a resource full of tips, tools, tricks, and information to help others who are on the same journey I am.

Anyway, welcome to my blog.  I look forward to getting to know you, hearing your comments and suggestions, and learning from your kudos of what I’m doing right and (constructive!) criticism of what I could be doing better.  Thanks for stopping by!